Shattered
by skiingclimber
Summary: Sutton's life couldn't be better now that the truth is out. With her friends and family at her side there's nothing she can't handle, until her worst indiscretion comes back to threaten the only relationship she's never doubted. Will she be able to figure out a way to save it or will it shatter beyond repair? Don't read if you haven't read my last story "Too Much." It's the sequel
1. Decision Time

December

"Come on, Sutton," Emma urged, "You know this stuff."

They were sitting in Sutton's room studying for their final exams. To everyone's surprise they'd actually managed to complete the ridiculous number of make-up assignments they had to do. Even more surprising, they were actually excelling in their classes. Emma was maintaining her straight A average and Sutton, even more surprisingly, only had A's and B's.

Things had been going pretty well over the past two months. Ted and Kristin had managed to work things out and couldn't be happier. It had been a process and there was a lot of fighting in the beginning and there had been times where it seemed like everything would end, but they always managed to work it out in the end and now it seemed like nothing had happened at all.

Even Laurel and Sutton had managed to work out their differences. They'd had a very long and very secret talk. It had happened while Emma was finalizing her adoption into the Mercer family. She had left the two sisters in their respective bedrooms, neither one showing any signs of talking to the other. When she came back, Sutton and Laurel were sitting on the couch in the living room acting like they were best friends. She could tell by their swollen eyes and red faces that both had been reduced to tears, but neither one even hinted at what had occurred.

Thayer and Mads, however, hadn't had it so easy. Rebecca had skipped town a couple days after the whole truth came out. Apparently, she did not want to find out how much Emma and Sutton were willing to share about what she did to them. Alec was still behind bars for Derek's murder and it didn't look like he was going to get out. Nevertheless, Thayer and Mads had figured out a way to make it work. Thayer had been granted access to his dad's bank accounts and kept him and Mads in their own home. Ted was checked in on them every so often to make sure they were okay, but Thayer had made it very clear that he didn't want his help unless it was absolutely necessary. Things could be better, but they could also be a hell of a lot worse.

"But I don't, Emma," Sutton sighed, "I'm not as smart as you."

"I don't buy that," Emma retorted.

"Have you seen my grades?"

"You're lazy," Emma stated, "Not stupid."

"I take offense to that."

"Good. What are you going to do about it?"

Sutton sighed and started to focus, "Atomic radius increases down a group and across a period."

"Why?"

"Across a period each element has the same number of electron shells, but there are more protons to pull on the valence electrons, so there is more attraction. Down a period electrons are farther away from the nucleus, so there is less attraction."

"Good, but I don't get why I have to fight you to get an answer. You're almost always correct. Why don't you believe you can do this?"

"I don't know," Sutton admitted, getting up from her seat and walking over to the window, "I guess it's just easier that way. The less I know, the less expectation there is for me."

"So you've been an average student for all of these years because you didn't want to let anyone down."

"You can't disappoint someone who doesn't have any expectations for you."

"Except yourself," Emma muttered, "Don't you want to go to college?"

Sutton was silent.

"You didn't, did you?"

"Mom and Dad were always pushing it on me," Sutton responded, throwing her hands up in the air and pacing the room, "That was always how they tried to improve my grades. They kept saying, 'You won't get into college if you don't try harder.' When you're doing everything to rebel against your parents, sometimes you lose sight of what you actually want."

"What do you want?"

"I want to prove everyone wrong," Sutton stated, turning to look at her sister, "I want everyone to stop telling me how little I'm capable of. I guess I just want to be taken seriously again."

"Okay then explain electronegativity to me."

Sutton went back to her seat and focused on Emma. This was her chance to show everyone what she was made of. It was her chance to prove all of those teachers who'd said she would never make anything of herself just how wrong they were. She had no clue if she could actually do it, but she could try. She took a deep breath, "Electronegativity…"

* * *

A week later, Sutton walked into her house as nervous as she'd ever been. Even though her parents had given both her and Emma permission to hang out with Mads after school today, she didn't want to push the boundary. The two of them had been on house arrest for almost two months and today was their first parole hearing. She'd taken her last final and grades were supposed to be up. Depending on how well she and Emma did, their prison sentence might be reconsidered.

Emma was not the wildcard in this. Even with her three AP classes she had managed to maintain straight A's. Both of them knew that. It was Sutton's success that would determine their future. A lot of Sutton's assignments still weren't in the grade book. She had no idea where she was going to end up in any of her classes. She hoped for a C average, but in some classes she wasn't even sure she'd managed that.

"Sutton, Emma, is that you?" Kristin's voice carried from the living room.

"Yeah Mom," Sutton called.

"Could the two of you come in here for a second?"

Sutton and Emma looked at each other warily. This could be the moment of truth for them. They grabbed each other's hand and walked toward them. As they entered, Sutton couldn't help but notice how serious they both looked. They took a seat on the couch together, but neither one dared to speak.

"You know grades for the two of you were posted about fifteen minutes ago," her dad began.

Sutton felt the knot in her stomach tighten tenfold. This was the moment of truth for them. She gulped down the bile rising in her throat and slowed her breathing. She couldn't let them see how nervous she was about this.

Kristin stepped up to Emma and handed her a sheet of paper with a smile. Under her breath, Sutton heard her mom whisper, "Congratulations."

A moment later, Ted stepped up to her and gave Sutton her own sheet of paper. She knew it was her report card and she tried to find any hint in his face as to what the result had been. Unfortunately, there was nothing there. In fact, he almost looked angry. Sutton gulped again before glancing down at the slip of paper.

Sutton couldn't believe it. She had to keep looking at the name at the top of the grade report. Sure enough it always said _Sutton Mercer_, but she still didn't understand how this had happened. She looked at Emma, who was looking at her curiously.

She looked at her parents, "Is this a joke?"

Kristin shook her head.

"So this really is my report card?"

Ted nodded his head.

She looked back at Emma and smiled. She handed her the piece of paper and waited for her reaction. Emma smiled and simply said, "Congratulations Sutton."

"Congratulations? That's all I get from you. I just got straight A's, Emma. Do you know how incredible that is?"

"I always knew you could do it. It was just a matter of getting you to realize it as well."

Sutton smiled back at her, "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Reminding me what I really wanted."

They pulled each other into a hug, which they'd been doing a lot of lately. Ever since the truth came out all those weeks ago the two of them had been basically inseparable. They still bickered sometimes, but in the end they were sisters. Nothing could change that. As they released each other they both looked at Ted and Kristin. This was exactly what needed to happen to get their sentence lifted.

"What?" Ted questioned, "Oh, you think just because you get straight A's we're going to lift your grounding."

"No," Emma denied.

"But we were kind of hoping you'd consider it," Sutton finished.

"You two have been pretty good," Ted conceded.

"Please Dad," Sutton pleaded.

"What do you think, Kristin? Have these two earned it?"

"I think they've earned a little trust back."

"How about full phone and TV privileges and we give you a 10:30 curfew? Does that sound fair?"

Both twins nodded. Sutton didn't dare push the curfew even though she thought it was a little early. She had run away from home and asked her twin to take her place to keep her parents from knowing. She'd plotted to destroy her whole family in order to gain favor with Rebecca. She still couldn't believe she'd fallen for that woman's lies. It had just been so easy. They looked similar. They seemed to think the same way. Rebecca could've been her mother, but she wasn't and even after almost two months that was a hard pill to swallow.

"Good," Kristin stated, "now I'm assuming that both of you have somewhere you'd rather be than in this house?"

Both twins perked up. Sutton knew Emma was itching for a real date with Ethan and she wanted one for them. The two of them had been more than obnoxious and nauseating in the hallway at school. It wasn't their fault. They had been banned from seeing each other for two months now. It just meant they had to be more in love with each other at school. To Emma's credit, she did try and minimize it when Sutton was around and Sutton tried to be around them as little as possible. Still, there were times when Ethan got a little too obsessed with throwing it in her face and she'd heard Emma scold him more than a few times.

It was nice to know her sister was conscious of their history, but also didn't let it get in the way of their relationship. She'd heard him give him the same scolding for pushing things too far even when Ethan hadn't known Sutton was around. They even talked about Ethan and her relationship. Of course it got awkward at times, but Sutton got the feeling Emma knew she wasn't a threat anymore.

"We'll leave the two of you to figure out your plans," Ted explained as he walked out of the room. Kristin followed, leaving the two girls to figure out their plans. Sutton was fully prepared for her sister to ask for the car keys to see Ethan. They hadn't been on more than two official dates and they still hadn't…sealed the deal. She was fully prepared to relinquish the keys and get left at home. For once she didn't mind it. She was tired and a night in seemed like the perfect way to spend her evening.

"So," Emma stated, turning to Sutton as soon as their parents were gone, "How are we going to celebrate?"

"Come again?"

"Sutton, we just got out of a three month grounding a month early. We just proved everyone wrong. That calls for celebration."

"I just assumed you were going to ask me for the keys and head off to see your boyfriend."

"Sutton I wouldn't abandon you on our first night free. I can always meet up with Ethan tomorrow."

"Seriously Emma I was just planning on staying in tonight."

"Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine. Why would you ask that?"

"Sutton," Emma stated, "This whole community is obsessed with public functions. I went to a party the second day I was here. The next week was the father-daughter dance. Then there was Homecoming and the Ballet Fundraiser and the Black and White Ball. It's so ridiculous it's almost an addiction."

"I'm tired. OK? I actually studied for my finals and it took a lot out of me. Who knew hard work would be so tiring?"

"But also rewarding. Our grades are the reason we got let out early."

"Very true," Sutton acknowledged, "Which is why you should celebrate tonight."

"It's why we should celebrate," Emma corrected.

"I'm celebrating by absconding with the television remote and indulging in _Jersey Shore_ and _Gossip Girl_ all night. Just because I don't have any other plans, doesn't mean you shouldn't make some."

"Alright I'll call Ethan and tell him," Emma stated.

Her sister hopped off of the couch and bounded toward her own bedroom. Sutton too got up from the sofa and headed in that direction. All she wanted to do was collapse on her soft sheets and relax for the next three hours. Emma had pushed her to her limit this past week getting her ready for finals. Now her reward was not thinking about anything but mindless television and the latest gossip on all of the major celebrities. When did she get so boring?

* * *

A/N: The long awaited epilogue to my previous story, "Too Much." I'm sorry it took so long to post, but I've been suffering from serious writer's block. Anyways, here it is and I hope all of you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.


	2. Moving Forward

Two hours later, Thayer Ryback spotted Emma standing by the door to the club. Before she spotted him she turned her back to him, probably checking to see if Ethan had arrived yet. Quietly, he stepped up behind her and said, "So the Mercer delinquents have finally been released. What'd you do? Bribe the warden?"

Emma turned at the sound of his voice and smiled, "Good behavior," she stated simply, "Is that so hard to believe?"

"From you? Absolutely not. From Sutton? Rebellion is her middle name."

"I thought it was Penelope?"

"You know what I mean. Seriously, how did you and Sutton convince Ted and Kristin to let you out a month early?"

"I could say it was the fact that we've been perfect angels for two months, but I'm pretty sure it had to do with the straight A's Sutton got on her report card this semester."

"Sutton got straight A's?"

"You and I both know what she's capable of when she sets her mind to something."

Thayer nodded in agreement. He knew just how capable Sutton was. He'd watched her plan multiple lying games that he knew took a level of intelligence Sutton never would admit she had. The problem with Sutton was that she was too afraid to show it off.

"So how she's celebrating this momentous occasion?" Thayer questioned, "Crashing a party? Executing another lying game?"

"The last I saw her she was wearing yoga pants and a tank top with her hair in a messy bun popping popcorn in the kitchen."

"Wait a minute. Sutton Mercer is staying in on a night like this? What's wrong with her?"

"She's changed a lot, Thayer," Emma stated.

He hadn't seen much of her in the last two months, but he'd heard Mads say the same thing a couple times in passing. He didn't know what that meant and he didn't know if it was good or bad. He just knew that she was different.

"Emma," a voice called from behind them. He looked up to see Ethan walking toward them with purpose. Just like Sutton was a sore spot for Emma in her relationship. Thayer was a sore spot for Ethan. There was a point where Emma could've chosen either one of them. Of course Thayer would've told her she was crazy to choose him when she was obviously meant to be with Ethan, but there had been a connection. He couldn't deny it, but it was the same as the one he had with Mads. He wanted to protect her and make sure nothing bad happened to her. He didn't want to fall in love with her. That role was reserved for another Mercer girl.

"I'll see you later, Thayer," Emma stated taking a step away from him and toward Ethan.

"Have fun," he called after her. He watched her run into Ethan's arms and the two of them spin in a circle as he held her. That was what true love looked like. Ethan was an idiot sometimes, but most men are. He made mistakes, but he did love her, and the two of them were meant to be together. He was just glad the two of them had finally realized that.

As he watched the happy couple he found his thoughts drifting toward Sutton. They usually did when he thought about things like that. He began to wonder why she was home on a Friday night and not out like usual. He began to wonder just how much she'd changed. Before he knew what was happening his feet were moving toward the front door and he was handing his keys to the valet.

* * *

Sutton flipped the page in her magazine and sighed. She never realized how quiet the house was when there was no one home. Laurel was with Baz. Her parents were with each other and Emma was with Ethan. She was the only one with nothing to do on a Friday night and for once it really didn't bother her. She was enjoying the silence and the tranquility of it all.

"Cozy?"

The voice surprised her so much that she actually flipped off of her bed onto the floor. It didn't hurt but it was really embarrassing and his snickering didn't help matters, "Not funny, Thayer."

"More like hilarious," he responded climbing the rest of the way through the window, "I haven't managed to surprise you like that in years."

"Well you got me," Sutton responded, picking herself up off of the ground, "What are you doing here anyways?"

"Had to see it for myself," he stated like she should know what he's talking about. She didn't and it only brought the snickering back, "You…home…on a Friday night. Are you sick or something?"

"Why is this so hard to believe for everyone?"

"Sutton, last year you went to a party with a fever of 102. You'd taken so much cold medicine Mads thought you were drunk and called me to take you home. I had to carry you to your bedroom and you missed four days of school. Still want to tell me I shouldn't be surprised.

"Well I'm different now," Sutton stated.

"I can tell."

There was a pause that neither one of them wanted to fill. He saw Sutton's lips began to move and braced himself for what he knew was coming, "Thayer, I'm sorry for what happened with us."

"I know," Thayer breathed, "You told me."

"Thayer," Sutton sighed.

"Let's just not talk about that anymore," Thayer responded, "It's in the past. There's no point on dwelling on it any longer, so let's just forget it ever happened. Okay?"

Sutton nodded, but inside she was shaking her head. She didn't want to forget. She didn't want to act like nothing had happened between them. It had and unfortunately he'd got burned. She wanted him to know she understood. She wanted to get rid of the guilt she'd been carrying with her for months now about what she'd done to him, but in the end it wasn't her call. He got to decide how this went and he wanted to act like it didn't happen. She would give him that. He deserved at least that.

"Good," Thayer responded, "Then I guess I should get going."

He turned to leave and Sutton found herself calling after him before she could stop herself, "What if you stayed?"

"Why would I do that?"

She took a step toward him, "Because I have our three favorite movies sitting out by the DVD player right now and, honestly, I could really use the company."

He smiled, "I guess Sutton Mercer hasn't changed so much after all," he responded. He stepped back toward her and let her lead him out of the room. She smiled to herself. Maybe they could go back to normal and act like nothing ever happened. Maybe everything could be just like it was before this all happened. Then again, nothing else was.

* * *

A few hours later, Emma closed the front door behind her and started down the hallway toward the kitchen. She could hear the sound of the television and expected to find Sutton sitting on the couch alone. What she didn't expect to find was Sutton asleep on the couch with her head resting in Thayer's lap.

They were both asleep and Emma decided Thayer was the safer person to wake up. She gently shook his shoulder until his eyes opened and he focused on her. She was staring at him with a hint of a smile on her face.

"Comfortable?"

"It's not what you think," Thayer stated simply as he carefully slipped out from underneath her. For a moment she stirred, but she didn't rise. Her breathing remained steady and neither one of them had the heart to wake her up too. Without saying anything else Thayer headed toward the kitchen and Emma followed.

"Oh so you and my twin sister didn't fall asleep watching a movie."

"Okay, so it is what you think," Thayer responded, pulling the refrigerator open and grabbing a can of soda.

"So does this mean you and Sutton are okay now?" Emma questioned, leaning against the countertop.

"Why wouldn't we be?" He questioned with genuine confusion as popped the top of his can of soda.

"Oh come on Thayer. She hurt you as much as anyone and she used you in the worst way. You're telling me you can forget what happened that easily."

"I let go of what happened as soon as that car got pulled out of the lake."

"How?"

"It hurts more to live without her than to live with her at her worst."

"You really do love her," Emma realized.

"I always will," Thayer admitted, taking a sip of his soda, "Even though she doesn't feel the same way."

_I wouldn't be so sure,_ Emma thought. She'd been watching Sutton carefully anytime they were around Thayer or his name came up in conversation. There was a mix of pain and eagerness that always flashed across her face. She wanted to know what he was doing, but it seemed to remind her of what she'd potentially lost. There was something there, but was it love? Only Sutton could make that distinction.

* * *

At the sound of the front door slamming, ten minutes later, Sutton pushed herself up onto her elbows. She'd fallen asleep probably five minutes into the second movie and had woken to find Thayer already gone. Was that disappointment she was feeling? She pushed herself into a seated position and wiped the sleep from her eyes.

"Sleep well?"

She turned to see Emma standing behind her with a knowing grin on her face, "Where's Thayer?"

"He just left," Emma explained.

"Oh," she sighed. It was disappointment she was feeling. He never left without saying goodbye.

"He wanted to say goodbye, but I suggested he should let you sleep."

She brightened a little. Maybe things could stay the same between them. As they'd watched the movies they'd fallen back into their typical routine. They'd quoted their favorite lines as they came up. They'd had a popcorn-throwing contest. Thayer was the only person she knew that she felt like she could be herself with all of the time. He loved her, all of her. She got up off of the couch and headed for the kitchen.

"The two of you looked pretty cozy on that couch when I got home," Emma stated as she followed.

"I fell asleep," Sutton stated as if it wasn't a big deal, grabbing two cans of soda from the fridge and sliding one over to Emma.

"Your head was in his lap."

She started to say something, but then realized she had nothing. That probably did look a little weird, considering she'd been adamant about the fact that she didn't feel that way about Thayer. She took a sip of her soda and hoped Emma would drop the subject.

"Will you be honest with me, Sutton?"

"About what?"

"Do you love Thayer?"

Sutton paused for a moment and thought about how to word her response, "I care about him and I don't want to hurt him again."

"But do you love him?"

"Not the way he wants me to," Sutton stated.

"How do you know?"

"What?"

"Sutton, I got a taste of your past two serious relationships and I know you weren't in love with either one of them. So how do you know you're not in love with Thayer?"

"I just do, okay?"

"Keep telling yourself that," Emma responded, pushing away from the counter, "Maybe one day you'll actually believe it."

Emma grabbed her soda and headed for her bedroom, leaving the comment hanging in the air. What did Emma mean by that? She knew she didn't love Thayer that way. She didn't need to justify it to Emma. The only person she needed to convince of that was herself and she'd already done that. At least, she thought she had.


	3. Training Partners

The next day, Thayer was walking by the tennis courts at the club when he saw something he hadn't seen in a long time. He walked over to the practice wall, the one that people use to practice by themselves, to get a closer look. He wasn't mistaken. There was Sutton Mercer actually practicing of her own volition. The ball shot off of the wall just out of her reach and bounced at his feet. He picked it up and smiled.

"Don't think I've seen you opt in to practicing tennis before," he called as she walked over.

"I've been doing a lot of things I don't normally do lately," she responded, snatching the ball from his hand. Her forehead glistened with sweat and he could hear her labored breathing. How long had she been here?

"I forgot to congratulate you on your report card yesterday. What did it take for you to realize just how smart you actually are?"

"Everyone trying to tell me that I wasn't," she stated simply, taking a sip of her water.

"Glad to see you using that rebellious side of yours for good rather than evil," Thayer taunted as he took a step toward her.

"What are you doing here, anyways?"

"A friend invited me to play tennis, but bailed on me. What are you doing here?"

"Getting in shape for spring tennis season," Sutton explained, setting her water bottle back down on the ground, "Nisha's not my only competition this year and with my grades I need a scholarship to get into college."

"Want an actual partner to play against instead of a wall?"

"You want to?"

"That's what I was here to do anyways."

"Okay," Sutton said with a smile, "Your on. Hell, you might actually have a chance at beating me this time."

"I'm only down by two games," Thayer defended. Ever since Sutton started playing tennis the two of them had a perpetual match going on. At this point Sutton had won 267 and Thayer had won 265. After 500 games, they knew each other backwards and forwards. It made for some interesting rallies that could last for twenty minutes if they tried.

"You were up by three the last time we played," Sutton reminded.

She sauntered past him and onto an open court. He was happy with how easy it was for them to fall back into their friendship. He would always love her and she would never feel the same way. They both knew that and they both needed to accept it.

He jogged to the other side of the court and readied himself for her serve. They could go back to the way things were. He knew that. He wanted that. He only hoped Sutton felt the same, but when had him and Sutton ever felt the same way?

They played for two hours. Thayer did manage to win two games, but Sutton kept her lead by winning the final game. As they stepped off of the court, both were grinning from ear to ear.

"I seriously need to get back into shape," Sutton stated as they walked toward the club, "I mean, I just lost to you twice."

"I'm not that bad," Thayer defended.

"You're not that good, either."

"Ouch," Thayer exclaimed, reaching for his chest like she'd just stabbed him through the heart.

"Oh you know I'm kidding," Sutton spat, "You've always been a great partner and you've always pushed me to do my best. I just wish you could always be my training partner."

"Do you want me to be?"

"What?"

"You said you're trying to get back in shape for tennis in the spring. It'll be easier and more fun if you have someone to help you with it."

"You'd do that for me?"

"You know I would."

"Alright," Sutton conceded, "I'd love for you to help me with this. I mean, you know better than anyone what I need to work on with tennis. We have played each other over 500 times."

"How about we start Monday at two?"

"You're on," Sutton practically challenged. She smiled at him and Thayer returned the favor. Maybe this could work. Maybe they could go back to the way things used to be. They sure as hell were going to try at least.

* * *

For three weeks, Sutton worked harder than she ever thought possible. She ran two miles in the morning with Emma and in the afternoon she worked out with Thayer. He pushed her harder than anyone ever had. She did drills until her legs gave out underneath her and she had nothing left to give. She had never been in this good of shape before and honestly she never wanted to be again.

It was two months before tryouts and Thayer was putting her through another grueling workout. Today they'd been working on going for diving shots. Thayer would toss a ball that she would have to return, and then she'd have to get up and return the next one he threw. She was exhausted and Thayer refused to give her a break.

"Again," he called when she missed the second return for the third time in a row. He was getting more and more frustrated by the moment and Sutton had no idea how to make him happy.

She set herself back in the middle and prepared for his toss. She returned the first one with ease and then hopped to her feet to get the next one. She got there just in time and sent it back over the net. It landed fair and she smiled. Maybe now he'd give her a break.

"Again," he called and Sutton's heart sank.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No Sutton. Now come on, get back to center so we can go again."

"Thayer, I've been doing this for an hour straight. Can't I get a break?"

"No," he spat, "Now get back to center and stop wasting my time."

She took her place and waited for his toss. It came and she reached for it, barely getting her racquet on it. She pushed herself to her feet and went for the ball again, but it was too far away. It bounced by her before she could even reach her racquet out for it.

"What the hell was that?"

"I told you," Sutton responded through labored breaths, "I need a break, Thayer."

"You don't get a break in the middle of a rally. It doesn't matter how tired you are you have to keep going until it ends."

"I have never seen a rally last an entire hour where one player is constantly having to get to their feet because they're diving for everything. It's ridiculous."

"So now I'm being ridiculous? You know I don't have to be here with you, Sutton. I don't have to spend my Saturday afternoon training with you. Yet here I am, because you needed a training partner."

"You know what, never mind. Just set up for the drill again."

"No," Thayer responded, "If you don't want to do the drill anymore, you don't have to. Pack up your bag. We're done for the day."

"Seriously?"

"I'm not going to work with someone who doesn't want to be here," Thayer shouted.

"I never said that, Thayer."

"You might as well have. Sutton, I thought you'd figured it out. I thought you understood that you had to want this for you to achieve it. I guess I was wrong."

He stomped off of the court before she had a chance to respond. What had she done to make him so angry? So she didn't want to pass out from heat exhaustion. Was that really such a crime? There was something going on with Thayer and she wished he would just tell her what it was instead of taking it out on her in practice.


	4. When the World Comes Crashing Down

The next night, Thayer was working on his latest app when he heard the doorbell. He really couldn't afford a distraction right now. He was already behind on his work and he really needed to get it all done. Nevertheless, he was the only one home that night. Mads was out with Ryan again, so it was up to him to figure out who the hell was at the door at this time of night.

He put his computer down on the couch and stomped into the hallway just as the doorbell rang again and then again. He knew that pattern and he prepared for who he knew was standing on the other side of the door.

"Sutton," he greeted, "What can I do for you?"

"Can we talk?"

"About what?"

"Yesterday at the tennis court. Why were you pushing me so hard?"

"Because you needed to be pushed, Sutton," Thayer stated almost irritated. He really needed to work on his app. Instead, he was explaining to Sutton why he pushed her so hard.

"Not that hard," Sutton defended.

"Sutton, you're not going to get any better if you don't push yourself."

"Pushing is one thing. It was almost like you were punishing me."

"Sorry I believe in you more than you believe in yourself."

He slammed the door behind him and walked into the kitchen, frustrated. How could she not get it? He pulled the fridge open and grabbed a can of soda. When he turned back around he jumped back about a foot when he saw Sutton standing three feet away from him.

"What the hell, Sutton?"

"I'm not leaving until I get some answers."

"Answers to what?"

"Why you're acting the way you are? You didn't used to get mad at me like that. You were the only person I wasn't afraid to cry in front of. You were the only guy who'd never let me down. I knew I could trust you, but now I'm not so sure. Yesterday you yelled at me and stalked off of the court like a five-year-old who didn't get the toy he wanted."

"Back off, Sutton."

"No Thayer. Yesterday was not the first time you've acted that way. It's been happening more and more and I don't know why. You used to be someone I could count on. I could call you and know you would be there as soon as you could. I could be having the worst day of my life and you could find a way to make it better. You were always there for me and maybe I wasn't there for you as much as I should've been, but—"

"You're right, Sutton," Thayer interrupted. If she was going to push him to be honest with her, then that's exactly what she was going to get, "You weren't there for me. You never have been and maybe I'm a little tired of it being that way."

"What do you mean?"

"I loved you and all you did was use it for your own personal vendetta. I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised. I mean it's not like you've ever treated me like anything more."

"That's not fair."

"What's not fair is that I have always been there for you and you have never given me the same courtesy. When you went missing I was the only one who was on your side. I even accused Emma of doing something to you to get rid of you. I have always fought for you and all you've done is beat me down. I gave you my heart, Sutton, and all you did was break it."

Sutton looked away as if she'd been slapped in the face. In an hour or two he'd probably regret what he'd say, but for now, he felt good about it. She wanted him to be honest. It wasn't his problem that she couldn't handle it. She sniffed her nose and wiped a tear away from her eye.

"Well if that's how you feel then I guess we're done here."

She turned to leave and Thayer found himself wanting her to stay, "So you're just going to walk away in the middle of a fight?"

"I'm finally being honest with myself, Thayer. Maybe you should too."

She stepped out of the room and it wasn't until he heard the slam of the door that he realized what she meant. She wasn't coming back to him and she didn't want him to go to her. She had realized what he'd been denying for so long. They were too different to ever get back to what they used to have. Suddenly, he couldn't breath and he had to clutch the edge of the counter to keep from falling over.

* * *

Sutton heard Mads call to greet her as she walked down the hallway, but she refused to acknowledge her. It was already taking everything she had to hold her composure and having to explain to Mads what she was doing here would probably break her. She pushed past her and out the front door without ever saying a word.

She slammed the door behind her and cursed at the rain that had begun to fall. This was Phoenix, Arizona. It wasn't supposed to rain like this. She took a deep breath and made a mad dash for her car. It was only fifty feet, but by the time she reached it she was already soaked.

She unlocked the car and slipped in the driver's side, intent on getting home without shedding any tears until she was in the sanctity of her bedroom. The car roared to life and she pulled it out of the driveway in the direction of home.

At the first stoplight, Sutton slowed the car to a stop and tried to hold back the tears. Her resolve had been breaking ever since she pulled out of his driveway. The more and more she thought about it, the more and more she wanted to just crumble into a million pieces.

It was the longest light of her life. As she sat there and waited and waited, she found herself more and more upset. She kept willing it to change and it just stayed the same, kind of like her relationship with Thayer. That was her breaking point. The tears rolled down cheeks and she slammed her hands on the steering wheel in frustration. This was not how it was supposed to be. It wasn't supposed to end like this.

The light finally turned green and Sutton wiped the tears from her eyes. She had to focus. She had to get home and crying her eyes out while it was pouring rain was going to make it that much more difficult. She pulled her foot off of the brake and eased it onto the gas, hoping to make it home before the waterworks started again.

* * *

Ted Mercer walked out the front door of the hospital, fully prepared to be heading home. He didn't even care that it was pouring rain outside and he didn't have an umbrella. Today had seemed like one of the longest shifts of his life and he couldn't wait to get home for some time with his family. Things were going well. He didn't plan on ruining those by working too many late shifts.

He was just about to call Kristin when the ambulance pulled in. His friend, Johnny Collins, had been expecting them. The doors burst open and two paramedics started to explain the situation: car accident victim, unconscious at the scene, been in and out for about ten minutes. He couldn't see much from where he was standing, but he knew that car accidents were never fun to deal with. Johnny leaned over to get a better look at his patient and Ted headed for the parking lot, thankful he was done with his doctoral duties for the night.

"Ted," Johnny's voice called.

He turned back to face Johnny and felt his heart sink. There was only one reason Johnny would be looking at him the way he was and it was the last reason he wanted Johnny to be calling his name.

* * *

Emma stepped into the kitchen and asked, "Has anyone heard from Sutton?"

Kristin was standing in the kitchen working to finish dinner. Laurel was finishing setting the table and Ted was supposed to be on his way home from work. The only person missing was Sutton, and she'd promised to be back twenty minutes ago. She knew she'd gone to talk to Thayer about the day before and she had really wanted to know how it had gone before dinner started.

"Not since she left," Kristin responded.

At that point, the home phone rang and Kristin reached to pick it. He took a look at the caller ID and then accepted the call, "Hey Honey. What's up?"

Emma couldn't hear what Ted said, but it got Kristin worried.

"Uh yeah, just give me a second," she said and then put her hand over the receiver, "Emma, can you watch the stove? I'll be back in a minute."

Emma nodded and Kristin walked out of the room without saying another word. Emma took her place in front of the stove. She stirred the tomato sauce and checked the pasta, before glancing up at Laurel.

"Wonder what that was all about?"

"Dad's probably running late," Laurel responded with a shrug.

"Have you ever seen her walk out of a room like that because Dad was running late?"

"It looks like we're about to find out," Laurel responded, looking behind Emma at the doorway.

Emma glanced behind her to see Kristin walking back into the room, looking a little distant and really concerned, "Mom," she called, "Is everything okay?"

Kristin looked up at her two daughters with a grave expression as she explained, "Sutton was just brought into the ER."


	5. What Cuts the Deepest

Mads Ryback rushed through the doors of Phoenix Presbyterian glancing in every direction to ensure that she didn't miss Emma in the waiting room. She'd gotten the call twenty minutes ago and had immediately rushed out of the door. She had thought about telling Thayer what was going on, but after the aftermath she'd witnessed she had a feeling the two of them needed some time alone. She had left him a note, so he would know where she was, but she hadn't told him directly.

Emma spotted her before she spotted Emma. She waved to Mads and they met at the edge of the waiting room, just out of earshot of the rest of the Mercer family. They hugged briefly and then Emma pushed her away.

"How is she?" Mads questioned her voice oozing with concern.

"I don't know,"" Emma admitted, "They're still running tests."

"What happened anyways?"

"A guy lost control of his car and slid through the intersection. He apparently wasn't going that fast, but it was an SUV against her BMW so…"

"So there's no telling how serious the accident actually was."

"Exactly," Emma responded, but she could tell there was something on her mind. She didn't need to ask. Emma's next question cleared up what was bothering her.

"Hey where's Thayer? I figured he would've been dragging you through the door and demanding answers."

"I don't think Sutton wants him here," Mads responded.

"Why?" Emma questioned with concern.

"I take it you know Sutton went to talk to Thayer earlier."

Emma nodded, "Of course. She wanted to confront him about what happened at the court yesterday."

"I walked in right as they finished and it didn't exactly look like it had been a positive talk."

"What do you mean?"

"Sutton was on the verge of tears and Thayer was gripping the counter so tight his knuckles were going white. He looked like he was going to double over at any moment and Sutton didn't look any better."

"But you have no clue what was said?"

"Thayer refused to speak with me. He just turned and walked out of the room. The next thing I heard was his door slamming closed."

"I don't understand," Emma responded, shaking her head, "Sutton told me she was going over there to get answers. She said she was going to force him to be honest with her. How could that lead to that big of a blow up?"

"You know better than anyone how much the truth can hurt. Maybe Sutton just learned it too."

* * *

Sutton had been staring at the same spot on the wall for the last fifteen minutes. Johnny was supposed to be back at any moment with her CT scan and x-rays. She'd been here for almost two hours and all he'd done so far was make her less gruesome. He'd pulled the glass out of the cuts on her arms and face. He'd cleaned the blood off of her face. He'd stitched up the two cuts that needed it, but nothing else. There were so many tests that needed to be completed before he would tell her anything about her condition and the longer she sat in silence the harder it was to act like she was okay.

A knock sounded on her door and then Dr. Collins poked his head into her room, "How are you doing?"

She didn't respond verbally. She just shrugged her shoulders and kept looking at the spot on the wall. She hadn't been in the mood to talk ever since she was admitted. She answered his medical questions, but nothing else. She'd basically just been staring at different points on the wall, trying to keep her composure.

Johnny sighed in defeat and stepped into the room, "Well, I'd say you were pretty lucky all things considered. If that truck had been coming from the other direction, things could've been a lot worse for you..."

When she tuned Johnny out, she was not thinking about how bright the headlights had been as the truck got closer and closer. She was not thinking about how the glass had shattered and come flying toward her. She was thinking about Thayer. She was thinking about the pain in his eyes as he recalled what she'd done. She was thinking about how her own heart had broken when she'd realized what that pain meant. She was thinking about how desperately she wanted to break down crying right then and there instead of listening to Johnny explain what was physically wrong with her.

"…So if you do what I tell you, you should be good to go in six weeks."

Apparently, she'd zoned out for longer than she thought. She had no clue what was wrong with her, or what would take six weeks to heal, and she really didn't care right now. The accident had not been the biggest trauma of the night for her. Losing Thayer had earned that title and no amount of medical treatment was going to get rid of the pain that made the gashes on her face seem like paper cuts.

"I'm sure your parents would like to see you," Johnny encouraged.

She really didn't want that. She didn't want to answer their questions as to what happened. All she really wanted to do was curl up and let the tears she'd been holding back roll down her cheeks, but there was no way to explain that. She had just been in a serious car accident and she was about to refuse seeing her parents. They would be so confused and yet she didn't feel like she had a choice.

She still didn't look at him when she said, "I don't want to see them."

"Sutton, you were just in a car accident and the last time your dad saw you, you were strapped to a backboard, barely conscious. Do you really think I can stop him?"

"I don't care what he wants, Johnny," Sutton snapped, finally acknowledging his presence, "I don't want to see him."

"Sutton," Johnny exclaimed.

"What part of this don't you understand? I want to be alone, Johnny. After everything that's happened tonight, don't you think I deserve at least that?"

He was torn. Her dad was a good friend of his and she knew how concerned her dad probably was. It was a completely unfair request on her part, but life's unfair. She wanted to be alone and it would be nice to get one thing she wanted tonight.

* * *

Emma paced the waiting room, unable to sit still. They still hadn't been told how serious Sutton's injuries were and Emma was getting impatient. There had been no real updates since they arrived and the stress of not knowing whether her sister was okay was tearing her apart inside.

"Emma," Mads' voice cut through her thoughts, "You need to calm down. Dr. Collins will tell us what is going on as soon he knows."

As if on cue Dr. Collins came strolling up to them. Ted and Kristin stood to greet him, "How is she, Johnny?"

"She's pretty banged up," Johnny admitted, "She bruised a couple ribs, her wrist is broken, and she's got a pretty serious concussion, but other than that she's fine. All in all she was very lucky."

Emma watched Ted and Kristin's shoulders relax as soon as he was finished. She too felt a weight lift off of her shoulders. Sutton was okay, well physically at least. She still had no idea what had happened with Thayer and how she was doing with whatever had happened.

"Well if that's everything, then we'd like to see our daughter," Ted stated, trying to step past Johnny, but Johnny stepped in front of him.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Johnny warned.

"And why not?"

"Ted, it's been a long day for her. She's been through a lot. I think it would be best if you just let her rest."

"Johnny, the last time I saw her she was strapped to a backboard. She was barely conscious and you're telling me I can't see her."

"This isn't about what you want, Ted. This is about what's best for Sutton and right now she needs rest."

"Screw you Johnny. I want to see my daughter."

"I can't let you do that, Ted," Johnny practically threatened.

"Why the hell not?" Emma watched Ted's shoulders square as if he was prepared for a fight. He was going to see Sutton tonight. Not even her doctor could stop that from happening.

"Because she doesn't want to see you," Johnny spat.

"What?" Ted's shoulders dropped and he looked like he'd just been hit in the stomach. Sutton had just broken him and while Emma understood it still hurt her to see Ted blame himself for something that wasn't at all his fault.

"She wants to be alone, Ted. I'm sorry, but she's my patient and if that's what she wants, that's what she gets."

Emma glanced at Mads. They both knew exactly why she wanted to be alone, but it wasn't like they could explain it to Ted and Kristin. This was Sutton's story. If she didn't want to talk about it, Emma certainly shouldn't. Still, she was supposed to be honest with them and now she was lying to Ted and Kristin for Sutton's sake yet again.

* * *

Mads watched Johnny exit the waiting room and Ted sit down in defeat. His daughter was refusing to see him. His daughter, who had just totaled her car, wanted to be alone. Mads and Emma knew the reason, but her parents had no understanding of what had transpired. She wanted to tell them everything she knew, but she knew she couldn't do that. It had to come from Sutton, because Sutton was the only one that really understood.

She walked up next to Emma and put her arm around her friend. Emma looked even more torn about this whole thing. She had an obligation to protect her sister's secret, but she also had an obligation to be honest with Ted and Kristin. Mads could see it in her demeanor. She was not happy with the position she'd been put in.

"It'll be okay, Emma," Mads assured, "You know how Sutton gets when she's hurting."

"I know," Emma admitted, "I just don't understand what happened. They were doing so well and all of a sudden it just imploded. I mean how did it go from so good to so bad so quickly?"

Before Mads could answer, her phone buzzed in her hand and flashed Thayer's picture. She looked at Emma, "I should take this."

"Thayer?"

Mads nodded.

"Good luck."

Emma walked away and Mads clicked the accept button, "Hey Thayer, what's up?"

"You're kidding, right?"

"I take it you got my note."

"Yeah," Thayer said quickly, "I got it. Only you could make a trip to the hospital sound like a trip to the grocery store. Seriously Mads, why didn't you just tell me."

"Please tell me you're kidding. Thayer, I walked into the aftermath of whatever happened between you and Sutton. Sutton refused to say 'hi' to me, and you refused to say anything at all. Sorry, if I thought the two of you needed some space."

"She's in the hospital, Mads."

"She's fine. The only major injuries she has are a broken wrist and a concussion. They'll probably release her in the morning."

"Have you seen her?"

"No," Mads admitted, "And I won't tonight."

"Why not?"

"Dr. Collins is not allowing visitors, not even her parents."

"Why not?"  
Mads did not want to tell her brother the truth. It would cause him more pain than he was already in, because he was the reason she was refusing to have visitors. It was her fight with Thayer that had cut her the deepest tonight. Although Mads had no clue why, her friend and brother had hurt each other tonight. There was no need to add on to the pain he was already feeling.

"It's been a long day for her. Dr. Collins thinks it would be best if we just let her rest for the night."

"But she's okay?"

"She's fine."

She heard him breathe a sigh of relief through the receiver. He cared about her and that meant that whatever their fight was about was in the past for him. That was half the battle. Now it would be getting Sutton to do the same.


	6. Breaking Points

The following day, Thayer knocked on the door to the Mercer home. He figured Sutton should be home by now and he was desperate to see that she was okay. He didn't care about what had happened the night before. All he cared about was making sure she was okay.

The door swung open to reveal Mrs. Mercer standing in front of him. She smiled, "Hi Thayer."

"Hello Mrs. Mercer. I heard about Sutton. How is she?"

"She's okay. Pretty banged up, but that's to be expected."

"Do you think she's up for a visitor?"

"She might still be asleep," Kristin warned, "but if she is awake I'm sure she'd be happy to see you."

Apparently Sutton had not said anything about their fight. Either that or she wanted to put it in the past as well. Kristin stepped out of the doorway to let him in and then led him to Sutton's bedroom door. She knocked twice before poking her head in the door.

"Sutton," she called as she walked into the room, "You have a visitor."

Thayer saw Sutton's head pop up and look over her mom's shoulder at him. It was a good thing Kristin did not stay long enough for Sutton to object, because Thayer could see that's exactly what she wanted to do. Her eyes were blazing with hate and anger. He thought this might happen and when the door closed, leaving him alone with her, he was glad she couldn't come after him.

"That looks like it hurt," he commented, acknowledging the bruising that covered her left temple, where her head hit the window, and the cuts that covered her face from the broken glass. All in all, she looked pretty good. Then again, Sutton always looked good.

"I wouldn't know," she answered simply, "I was unconscious."

"That's convenient I guess. So how long until you get that cast off?"

He gestured to the purple cast encasing her left wrist. When he looked back up at her that same hate blazed in her eyes and she refused to break eye contact with him, "Seriously, Thayer?"

"What?"

"So you're just going to act like nothing happened last night?" She questioned, getting out of bed. It was slow and stiff, but she managed to hide it fairly well as she got right in his face.

"I don't care about what happened last night. All that matters is that you're okay."

"Because it hurts more to live without me than to live with me at my worst, right? That's why we haven't talked about LA since you thought I'd died in the lake. That's why we keep acting like it never happened."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"It is when it's a load of crap."

"What are you talking about?"

"Seriously? Last night you tore me apart for something I did months ago, something you asked me to never talk about, because you wanted to leave the past in the past. That's obviously not what you really want so why don't you stop lying to yourself and me and tell me what you really want."

"I want to go back to the way things used to be with us."

"Well I don't," Sutton spat.

"What?"

"Forget it, Thayer," Sutton responded, turning away from him, "It doesn't even matter anymore. I told you last night that you needed to be honest with yourself and if you had been, you never would've come here."

"Sutton," Thayer exclaimed.

"We can't keep doing this, Thayer," Sutton practically whispered. She turned back to face him and he could see the tears welling up in her eyes as she continued, "I am never going to feel the way you want me to feel about you. The sooner you realize that, the sooner the both of us can move on."

"What are you saying, Sutton?"

"We can't be friends anymore, Thayer," she stated, turning her head to hide the tears rolling down her face, "It's just too painful for both of us."

"Sutton, please."

"I'm sorry, Thayer," Sutton interrupted, turning away and leaning against her desk in front of her, "but I can't do this anymore and you shouldn't have to. We're different people and no matter how much we want to deny it we don't fit together the way we used to."

Thayer felt like she'd just thrown a knife through his heart. She was ending it…everything. After everything they'd been through, after everything they'd survived, she was throwing in the towel. She was walking away from him for good and he didn't know what to do about it. He felt the tears well up in his eyes and he willed himself to hold them in as he turned and walked out of her life.

* * *

Sutton heard the door open, but refused to move at all. She was lying on her side, with the covers resting at her waist. After Thayer left she'd curled back up in bed in this exact position and tried to fall asleep. For an hour she'd been lying here feeling her heart slowly break into a million pieces, unable to do anything to stop it or take the pain away.

"Sutton," her mom's voice cut through the silence, "I brought you some food."

"I'm not hungry," she mumbled.

She heard her mom set the tray of food on her desk and then the bed bounce as her mom took a seat next to her. She felt a hand touch her forehead and then brush her hair off of her face, "How you feeling?"

Sutton shrugged. There was no way to describe how she was feeling. She felt sick without actually being sick. Even if she hadn't wrecked the car last night, she probably could've convinced her mom she had the flu.

A knock sounded on the door and then she heard Emma call, "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," Kristin stated, getting up off of the bed, "Let me know if you need anything, Sutton."

Sutton didn't move. She didn't even acknowledge that her mom had said anything. She heard her sigh in defeat and then the door click closed, leaving Sutton and Emma alone. The bed bounced again as Emma took a seat, but Sutton still refused to look at her.

"I got your assignments for you," Emma explained, "There wasn't a lot, but they're sitting by your desk."

"Thanks," she responded.

"Everyone kept asking about you," Emma continued, "Even Nisha wanted to know if you were okay."

No response. She knew that Emma was just trying to make her feel better, but that's not what she wanted. She wanted to lie in her bed and wallow in her own self-pity.

"Sutton," Emma called, "I know last night didn't go the way you wanted it to go and Mom said he was here today and by the look on your face it didn't go any better."

"What's your point?"

"What happened? I mean things seemed to be going really well with you and Thayer. What changed?"

"Nothing," Sutton admitted, "That was the problem."

"What do you mean?"

"We kept trying to get back to the way things were before," she explained as she pushed herself into a seated position. It was the first time she dared to look her sister in the eye since she'd come in. She'd expected to see pity, but all she saw was a desperate need to understand. She looked away again as she continued, "But, the reality was that was never going to happen. Too much has happened and too much has changed for it to ever be the same. I just finally stopped trying to deny it."

"You sound like you've really thought this through."

"I've spent all day thinking about it," Sutton answered, hearing her own voice crack under the strain of fighting off the tears, "Trying to figure out what went wrong, and that is the only thing that makes sense to me. We both went through a lot and we came out as different people, and no matter how hard we try to force it, we just don't fit together like we used to."

"So it's over?"

"It's over."

"Are you okay?"

Sutton choked on a sob and she felt everything crumble underneath her. The tears burst from her eyes like they'd been held behind a dam. Her whole body trembled with the level of emotion she was feeling. She felt Emma wrap her arms around her and for a moment they just held each other.

"It's okay," Emma whispered over and over again. It didn't help, but she was glad that she had someone there to say it.

"It just hurts so much, Emma," Sutton said through her sobs.

"I know, Sutton."

"Does it ever go away?"

"It's got to," Emma assured, "No one would be happy if it didn't."

Tears continued to roll down her cheeks and Emma just continued to hold Sutton close. So this is what heartbreak felt like. This is what it felt like to lose the one thing that made you feel whole. She just kept crying and Emma just kept holding on until she felt the exhaustion overcome her. The tears stopped. The sobs silenced and Emma let go of her.

"It will be okay, Sutton. It has to be."

Sutton didn't respond. She just curled back up on her side and listened to the door click closed as she drifted back to sleep, praying that her dreams would not be about him this time.

* * *

Emma slipped out of Sutton's bedroom and made it twenty feet down the hallway before she pounded the wall in frustration. What the hell happened? Things were going so well between them and suddenly everything had changed without warning. It didn't make sense, but Sutton and Thayer never really made sense.

"Are you okay?"

It was Laurel's voice that crept up behind her and Emma had to control the urge to jump ten feet in the air when she heard it. She wiped the tears from her eyes and composed herself before turning to face her, "Yes," Emma breathed, "Actually no…I don't know. When did things get so complicated?"

"I take it you're talking about the Sutton/Thayer situation?"

"He came by today," Emma explained, "I'm still a little fuzzy on the details, but things are finished between them."

"What do you mean?"

"They're not even friends, Laurel."

"Seriously?"

"Deadly."

"How's Sutton?"

"Heartbroken."

"Oh come on," Laurel exclaimed in disbelief, "You really think Thayer is capable of breaking Sutton's heart?"

"I think he's the only one who could."

* * *

Thayer sat on the couch in the living room trying to hold back everything he was feeling. His first and only love had just told him that not only were they never going to be anything more, they weren't even friends anymore. How could she do this to him? How could she continue to break his heart and never feel an ounce of pain from it? How could she be that heartless?

He heard the click of Mads' heels on the floor and then saw her standing over him looking like he'd just killed her puppy, "Just got off the phone with Emma," she explained, "What the hell were you thinking going to see Sutton today? I told you last night she needed space."

"I was trying to make things right," Thayer defended.

"How'd that work out for you?"

"It's not my fault, Mads. She's the one that turned away from me."

"And I'm sure you did nothing to cause her to do that," Mads responded sarcastically.

"I was honest with her," Thayer responded, rising to his feet, "She just couldn't handle it."

"And what exactly were you honest about?"

"You know what, Mads. This is none of your business."

"Bullshit this is none of my business. What's going to happen when I invite Sutton and Emma over to the house and you're here? What's going to happen when we run into them at the club? What am I going to say to her when she gets back to school? Whether you like it or not, both Emma and I are a part of this and we just want to know what happened."

"Why do the details matter? She decided we couldn't be friends anymore, so we're not. There's nothing more to it."

"There is so much more to it. The two of you seemed to be doing so well and all of sudden everything just went to hell. Something had to have triggered it."

"To quote Sutton 'we're different people and no matter how much we want to deny it, we just don't fit together the way we used to.'"

"Did you really expect it to be the same?"

"I wanted it to be, but I think there's a part of me that knew it couldn't be the same. I mean we slept together because she was trying to get back at Ethan. Last night I finally admitted it to her and she just walked away."

"How exactly did you admit that to her?"

"She kept pushing me to talk to her and I don't know I just sort of lost it. I got so angry and maybe I took it too far, but that's why I went to see her today. I wanted to make things right and show her that I didn't mean what I'd said, but she wouldn't listen to me. She just ended it."

"So you tried to act like nothing had happened?"  
"Well yeah. Is that such a bad thing?"

"Not when you what you're ignoring doesn't actually matter."

"But it doesn't matter."

"It doesn't matter to you, but maybe it matters to Sutton."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that your feelings aren't the only ones that count in this situation.

Despite what people want to say about her she actually has a heart and it can break like everybody else's can."


	7. True Feelings

Sutton stayed home the next two days doing exactly what Johnny had said to do. She slept a lot and did everything she could to relax, but that also meant she didn't do a lot at all, which left her alone with her thoughts. More often than not they drifted to Thayer and she would feel the tears scald her cheeks almost as soon she saw his face in her mind.

The door slid open and her mom slipped in silently as she lay on her side. When she saw that Sutton's eyes were open Kristin spoke, "I brought you some food."

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry."

"Sutton you have to eat something."

"I said I'm not hungry," Sutton spat, "Now please I just want to be left alone."

"Sutton, please talk to me. I don't know what your father and I did to make you upset, but—"

"You didn't do anything," Sutton assured, finally looking at her mom. She knew she was being a little difficult, but she hadn't meant to make her parents feel like they'd done something wrong. She pushed herself up into a seated position and tried to show her mom how wrong she was.

"Then why won't you talk to us? You shut us out of your hospital room and you've barely said three words to me in the last few days. I don't know what to do."

"I'm sorry," she said on the verge of tears.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Sutton. I just want to know what's going on."

Her mom wiped a tear from Sutton's eye and took her good hand. Sutton took a deep breath and tried to maintain her composure as she spoke, "The night of the accident Thayer and I got into a fight. That's where I was coming from when I wrecked the car. Things were said and I ended up storming out of his house. When he came by the house the next day we got into another fight and I told him we couldn't be friends anymore."

"Why not?"

"When I was in LA I did something out of spite that ended up really hurting him and it sort of changed things between us."

"Did you mean to hurt him?"

"No," Sutton responded adamantly, "But I knew he was going to get hurt when I did it."

"I don't understand why you can't be friends anymore. I mean you didn't mean to hurt him and I'm sure if you told him that he would understand. I'm sure you could get back to the way things used to be."

"That's the problem. He wants to act like nothing happened and go back to the way things used to be between the two of us."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"I don't want things to be the same between us and I don't think they can be."

"Why not?"

"Because," Sutton began, but paused. She wasn't sure she wanted her mom to know why. Not even Emma knew this part of the story. She took another deep breath focused on Kristin. She needed to admit this to someone and her mom obviously wanted to know.

"Because," she repeated, "I think I'm in love with him."

* * *

Emma was standing outside Sutton's bedroom eavesdropping on the conversation when she heard Sutton profess her love to Thayer. As soon as the words came out of Sutton's mouth she threw the door open and stomped right over to her crazy sister.

"Are you kidding me?"

"What?" Sutton questioned.

"I'm gonna go," Kristin announced as she got up off of the bed. Emma didn't look at her and neither did Sutton, but they both waited for the door to click closed before they continued their conversation.

"I've been trying to get you to admit that you're in love with Thayer Ryback for months and now that you guys aren't even friends you finally realize how you feel? Are you insane?"

"That's why we're not friends, Emma."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"He gave me his heart and all I did was break it. It's what I've always done and it's what I'll always do to him. I'm not good enough. I never will be."

"Sutton, when are you going to realize that you are the only girl good enough for Thayer?"

"He still hates me for what happened in LA."

"He doesn't hate you," Emma stated, "You hurt him and—"

"All I do is hurt him. The one time he has ever hurt me was when he was being completely honest with me. It might've hurt, but he wasn't wrong. I have never been there for him and he has always been there for me. He did give me his heart and all I did was break it. I have no right to make him to do it again."

"Wow Sutton," Emma exclaimed, "You know I knew you were a good liar, but I never realized you actually believed the BS that came out of your mouth."

"Excuse me?"

"You're right that you can't make him give you his heart again, but you also can't stop him. It's his heart and whether you want to admit it or not he gets to decide who he asks to protect it."

Emma stomped out of the room and slammed the door closed behind her. For months she'd been waiting for Sutton to realize that she was in love with Thayer and now that she had she wanted to slap her sister upside the head. All Thayer wanted was her, so why was she denying him that? If she really loved him she would've told him. She would've given him what he wanted. Why wouldn't she tell him? Why would she break her own heart for the sake of saving his? Unless…

She ripped her keys out of her bag and moved in the direction of the front door. There was only one place she needed to be right now and it wasn't in her bedroom.


	8. The New Normal

Thayer pulled the door to his home open to reveal Emma standing there. It was the last person he'd expected to see standing on his doorstep, but there she was looking at him expectantly.

"Emma?" Thayer greeted, "Are you here for Mads?"

"No," she admitted, "I want to talk to you about Sutton."

"What's there to say?" Thayer responded defeatedly, turning away from her and walking back into his house. He headed for the living room and wasn't entirely sure he wanted Emma to follow him.

"I don't think it has to be over," she called as she chased after him.

"What are you talking about?" He questioned, turning to face her again.

"I think she ended it because she thought it would be less painful for you."

"Less painful than what?"

"Her breaking your heart again."

"How could she break my heart again? I've already admitted to myself that she doesn't love me the way I love her and I'm okay with that. I've tried to show her, but…"

"Are you still angry with her for what happened in LA?"

"Maybe, but I don't want to be. I was wrong to act like nothing happened. It wasn't fair to have her do that for me, but I don't understand why she walked away when I was finally honest with her. I mean it's what she wanted."

"Did you tell her that you gave her your heart and all she did was break it?"

"Yeah," Thayer responded guiltily.

"That's your answer."

"What do you mean?"

"She knows how much pain she caused you and she doesn't want to keep hurting you. When you finally admitted it to her, it was her final straw. She couldn't handle hurting you anymore and she's afraid that's exactly what she's going to do if she doesn't let you go."

"But I don't want her to let me go. I need her, but she doesn't think we fit together anymore. How am I supposed to argue with that?"

"She said that the two of you don't fit the way you used to," Emma began, "But she never said you didn't fit at all."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You say that Sutton can't break your heart, because you've accepted that all you'll ever be is friends, but maybe the reason Sutton doesn't think the two of you fit together that way is because she doesn't think that's true."

"But I have accepted it."

"That's not what she thinks isn't true."

"What are you saying, Emma?"

"Don't give up on her so easily, Thayer. She's trying to make you happy and she feels like she's the reason you're not."

"But that's not true."

"It doesn't matter, Thayer. This is Sutton Mercer we're talking about. A feeling is practically fact in her mind."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

She smiled and for a second she reminded him of Sutton. It was devious and cunning, like she was planning something. Sometimes he forgot the two girls were identical twins, but it was moments like these that made him remember. As her eyes darkened, he knew she had a plan and that he better go along with it.

She only said one sentence before stalking out of his home. It was the thing he'd ever expected her to say. He was so shocked that he couldn't even form the words to keep her from leaving. There was no possible way that was true and yet part of him knew it was. He closed the door to his house and tried to accept the fact that he didn't Sutton nearly as well as he'd thought.

* * *

Sutton was sitting on the couch flipping through the channels when she heard arguing coming from the hallway, "I really don't think she's up for it," she heard her mother warn.

"I don't really care," Thayer's voice cut through and made her blood run cold, "I need answers and only she can give them to me."

A moment later he was in the kitchen making a beeline for her. She stood quickly, instantly regretting it. It took everything she had, but she fought back the pain and faced Thayer like he was her latest enemy.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Why did you really end our friendship?"

"We've been over this. Too much has happened for us to ever go back to the way things used to be. Things are never going to be the same between us, so why should we deny that any longer?"

"But you didn't want things to be the same, did you?"

"Of course I didn't, Thayer. All I did was hurt you. I used you, I manipulated you, and I made you believe that there was a chance for something more. Why would I ever want to go back to that?"

"That's not what you wanted to be different," Thayer stated, "That part of it is different. You're different. So, in your own words why don't you stop lying to yourself and me and tell me what's really going on?"

Sutton sighed and shook her head, trying to fight back the tears. She was going to kill Emma for this. There was no possible way he had figured this out on his own and she had left almost immediately after their conversation. She still wasn't back, but she assumed that's because she was with Ethan, hoping that Thayer would go immediately to Sutton to talk. She took a deep breath and tried to figure out how to explain what she'd been trying to say for months now.

"All I do is hurt you," she stated, hearing her voice already begin to crack, "Everything you said was true. I did break your heart and I don't deserve the chance to break it again. You deserve to be happy and it's obvious that can't happen if I'm still in the picture."

"You're not the reason I'm unhappy, Sutton. In fact, you're probably the only reason I've managed to keep it together this long."

"You can't lie to me, Thayer. I saw the pain in your eyes when you told me how I broke your heart. I'm tired of putting you through that. I'm tired of disappointing you. I'm never going to be the girl you want me to be."

"And how do you know what I want, Sutton?"

"You deserve someone who loves you, who'll never break your heart, who'll be there for you and never let you down. I'm not that girl. I never will be."

"I don't want that girl," Thayer practically spat, "I want a girl who is so sure of herself she can tongue-tie a boy at seven years old. I want a girl who'll do something just because everyone said she couldn't. I want a girl who can act so tough that she makes me forget her heart breaks just like everyone else's. Don't you see, Sutton?"

"You deserve more, Thayer, so much more. You deserve someone who makes you happy, who makes you laugh and smile when all you feel like doing is crying, and who loves you as much as you love them. I can't give you that and—"

Thayer grabbed her upper arms and pulled her close to him, kissing her as if they'd been in love for years. There was nothing forced about it, not like the last kiss they'd shared. She wanted to push him away and tell him they couldn't do this. She wanted to tell him that all this would lead to was heartbreak, but she couldn't. As soon as Thayer's lips touched hers the sparks between them melted away any opposition. By the time they parted she was fighting the urge to pull him close again instead of push him away.

"You are that girl. You make me happy, you make me laugh and smile when all I want to do is cry, and from that kiss I'm pretty sure you love me as much as I love you. You were right that we don't fit together the way we used to, but it doesn't mean we don't fit together at all. I love you, Sutton, and I know you love me too. So stop—"

It was her turn to interrupt him with a kiss. This time there were even more sparks and even more passion. She loved him. She really did and she was tired of trying to deny it for his sake. Emma was right. He got to decide whom he gave his heart to and after everything that had happened he still chose her. He loved her. She'd always known that. Now it was her turn to return the favor.

They released each other and Sutton wondered who cranked up the heat in the room. She looked into Thayer's eyes and watched the smile stretch across his face. She smiled back and for the first time in her life she understood what it felt like when time stood still. They just stood there staring at each other, grinning from ear to ear, wondering how it took them so long to get here.


	9. Four Years Later

Four Years Later

_Thwack. Beat. Thwack. Beat. _Sutton sent the ball soaring over the net to her opponent. _Thwack._ _Beat. _Emma smashed the ball back over the net, setting the rhythmic pattern of a long tennis rally. Each girl was giving it all they had. It was the finals and they were on the last set. Neither one of them wanted to lose and it showed. It was a good thing they were playing on the same team.

Neither Sutton nor Emma expected to be in this position, but their high school coach, four years ago, had seen it differently. They were undoubtedly two of the best individual players on the team. Both of them had expected to be battling Nisha for the top singles spot and so did their coach up until the doubles drill.

The way the two of them complemented each other when they played together had astounded her. She'd watched them move around the court as if it were a practiced dance. It was as if they knew what the other person was doing without anyone having to say it. In that moment, she knew where she needed the two of them and they'd excelled at it ever since. They'd been state champions their junior and senior year. It had earned them a place on the University of Arizona tennis team and a chance at glory. Last year, as sophomores, they'd qualified for nationals and taken fourth. Now they were playing in the most important game of their career. Better yet, they actually had a chance at winning.

Their opponent shot one into the back corner that no one expected Sutton to reach. She pushed off and stretched as far as she could. Her racquet tapped the ball over the net, barely fair, to score the match point and become a part of the best doubles team in the nation.

When Sutton jumped to her feet and she saw that the match was over she was in disbelief. She didn't even see the ball clear the net, let alone the ball bounce right on the line to score the final point of the match. All she saw was the judge signal that she'd earned the point and then her sister racing toward her.

"You did it," she exclaimed as she pulled Sutton into a huge hug. She'd only barely gotten to her feet when Emma nearly tackled her to the ground again. She couldn't blame her. They were officially national tennis champions.

"We did it," Sutton corrected, "You're the reason we were even at match point in the first place."

Emma blushed and smiled, "Did you ever think this could happen? Did you ever think we'd be national champions?"

"Never," Sutton admitted, "but a lot of things have happened that I didn't think could happen."

At that moment she spotted Thayer standing in the crowd smiling at her. He clapped his hands and nodded in approval, as if he knew she had it the whole time. She nodded back to him and then turned her attention back to Emma. They hugged once more and then headed to the net to shake hands with their opponents.

She could not believe what had happened in the past few. She had gone from such a low place to being on the top of everything. She was playing Division I tennis with her twin sister at the University of Arizona. She'd gone from feeling completely and utterly alone to knowing that someone would always catch her when she fell. Everything was perfect and all she'd ever wanted was perfection.

* * *

Thayer watched Sutton shake hands with her opponent and couldn't help but smile. Seeing her smile like that reminded Thayer of the girl he'd fallen in love with and lucky for him that girl actually loved him back. As he watched his girlfriend accept her title he thought back to the night everything had changed and the words that had changed everything.

"Don't let her convince you she's not good enough to love you," Emma had said as she stalked off into the night. He could barely remember anything else she'd said, but he remembered those words. He remembered how stunned he was to hear that Sutton loved him. He remembered how hard it was for him to believe it until he was standing in the living room listening to her speak. He remembered the smile that had crossed Emma's face when she walked into the living room that night and found him holding Sutton in his arms. He would never forget that night and he hoped Sutton never would either.

He met her on the court after the awards had been handed out. She and Emma were standing by the bench laughing and smiling at the fact that they were national tennis champions. Emma was sliding her engagement ring back onto her finger. Ethan had proposed during a weekend getaway to the cabin right before tennis season began. They were planning on a long engagement, but he'd caught Emma shopping for wedding dresses on more than one occasion.

The moment Sutton spotted him she dropped her bag and raced into his arms. He lifted her and spun her in a circle before setting her back down, "We did it, Thayer," she screamed.

"Yes you did," Thayer acknowledged.

"You have no idea how much it means to me that you came and watched."

"I wouldn't miss the most important match of your career. Besides, if I didn't come I couldn't do this."

He pulled her into a passionate, congratulatory kiss that made him feel certain of what he was about to do. She smiled at him, "Then I'm really glad you came."

"I love you, Sutton," he stated, "I love you more than I ever thought I could love anything. The worst part of my day is leaving you to go to work and the best part is coming home to see you. Just thinking about you puts a smile on my face and when we kiss it's as if time stops. I love you so much, Sutton, and I have no clue what I'd ever do without you."

He pulled the little black box out of his pocket and got down on one knee. As he opened the box to reveal the ½ carat diamond ring he watched Sutton's face carefully. She had no clue this had been coming, which made his next words that much sweeter.

"Sutton Mercer, will you marry me?"

She was silent and for a moment Thayer got nervous, but then he saw her head nod and her actually say the word 'yes.' His smile came back and he pushed the ring onto his fiancée's hand. He pulled himself to his feet and kissed her again, realizing that this moment, too, would never be forgotten.


End file.
